kindergarten!

it's been a strange week. My baby started Kindergarten Monday, I can't believe he is that old. It's so surreal. I am not used to not knowing exactly what is going on in his world every minute, I am having a hard time adjusting to it.
I have been haunted by memories this week of my mom, my parents, events that occurred when I was younger, some great memories, some terrible. I don't know why it has come on suddenly but I feel like I am looking back on my life and seeing it as an adult instead of remembering things as a child. I don't like what I see in some cases, and in others I see my parents side of things and marvel at their ability to handle the world.
Lord, I miss my mom. I was sick this past weekend and although it has been a very very long time since I had a mom that could take care of me, I would say Jr high, I guess, I still miss someone letting me lay my head on their shoulder, or someone rubbing my back, giving me medicine, hell just checking on me to see if I was okay. I was thinking these very thoughts when sweet JoLee came into my bedroom where I was in bed, crawled up and rubbed my back and in her best mama voice said, "It's okay mom ...." God is funny that way. My JoLee has a beautiful soul.

summer colds

I have been coughing like crazy, popping cough drops like they actually taste good and trying not to get any sicker than I already am. Denial is my medicine of choice. I think after the race my body finally relaxed for a minute and the cold germs pounced. It's not like I now have more time on my hands so I can afford being sick. If I am sick who is going to watch the kids? Cody works from 7-9:30 every day, and 20 minutes without a watchful eye and our kids will have the whole house coming down around our ears. This has taken on a bit of a whiny toll so I better change the subject.
I am upping the anty if you will, with my working out. I have decided to hire a personal trainer for the next couple of months. My body just isn't where I want it to be so I am making the jump to paying someone for help. Hopefully we can get it done. Caleb has finals in Vegas in Nov and well frankly, I want to look hot. It doesn't get more honest than that people.
Rm

pictures and kindergarteners

Okay so I just viewed the pictures from the triathlon last weekend, Oh Lord spandex is not my friend. I had some warped sense of self image thinking I looked okay in that outfit. Do you think sweats would be appropriate for this next one. Maybe I should do winter triathlons where I could run in a wind breaker or something. Good grief where are the dumbells, I have some serious work to do.
Stoney starts school next monday. Kindergarten... I can't believe it, I mean I really can't believe it. It seems like yesterday Cody and I were sitting around the apartment in Springtown, no money, nothing to do but look at the sweet little baby laying in my arms. So much has happened since then. He is so big and yet so small to me. His hands are already almost as big as mine. He is over half my height. He eats everything in sight, and looks at me for more. He sleeps like a teenager, and loves his bike. It feels like it is never going to be the same after Monday. He is going to grow up one day... I don't even know how to wrap my mind around that.
I miss him already.
Rm

I did it!

Whew what a Sunday! I did the most competitive thing I have done in my entire adult life. Seriously giving birth to three healthy babies was cake compared to the swim leg of the Ironbabe Sprint Triathlon. It was INTENSE.... and I made it. That feels good. I competed, I kicked, swam, kicked, swam and I made it out of that water. I worked hard on the bike, I love the way I feel on the bike, one more push... just one more. It's awesome. The run... well, I have never been called fast, in fact it's absurd to watch me run... some could power walk as fast as I "run" but whatever, I did it. 45 in my class (30-35 yr olds, even though I am only 29) and 195 out of 400 overall. I went in just wanting to finish, check, I didn't want to die, check, and I didn't want to be last, check. Goal attained. I am proud of myself. Cody was there with the kiddos. Thank you so much to him for the effort of getting them up and out the door at such an ungodly hour, that was a tri in itself with the Stoney leg, then the JoLee leg, and finishing with the Case leg. He was there and that was powerful for me. He's my rock, really the only family support I have and he is proud of me. I can't ask for more than that. My friend Karen rocked it out for this race, 18 in the class, 60 overall, she is phenomenal and I wouldn't have even thought about this race without her. She is driven, competitive and supportive, she is a really good friend and as much as I wanted to run away right before the horn blew, she was right there beside me and that gave me courage.
When I ran out of the water, before and after the bike and before and after the run and heard Cody, the kids, Brian, the miller kids, Christina, Lynn, Terry, Derick, Doreen, Erin and their kiddos, cheering for me, jumping and yelling, holding signs that read, "Go mom!" I got chills. It was emotional. Seriously to know they were there caring about me, rooting me on, Christina camera in hand, knowing I wanted good solid proof that I was there, it was those moments that got me through. Sweet Kathy gave us a shout out that morning in church, and I know we were in Annie's thoughts all day.
My mom was the only person who didn't react in shock when I told her I was going to do a triathlon, she simply said, "that's good, you can do it." My next race is Sept 7th. A little shorter, a little less competitive but a goal nonetheless. The MS 150 is exactly 8 months away. This race was just for fun...that one's going to be personal... I'm looking forward to it.
Rm

the night before the triathlon~
here I am at work finishing up some unfinished business. Who am I kidding, really I am just trying to forget about the fact that I am going to crush my body tomorrow morning. I can't believe that I am running a sprint tri in the morning. Did you catch that, I am so into the sport I am too worn out to type the whole word "triathlon" it's now just tri. I am so hip. I am getting excited, I am nervous nervous nervous, but really excited. How freaking cool is it going to be to say I am a triathlete. Is it once a triathlete always a triathlete or will I have to continue them for the rest of my life so as not to lose my triathlete status. Curious.... I will have to find that out. What is the triathlon quota that I have to make?? Wish me luck, I just want to finish... well...and not be last.
Rm

my first blog

okay so here goes. I have heard about this blog phenomenon for years now and frankly was just too busy to think about it. I am jumping on that train now though. I am still too busy but with no end to the madness in sight, I am choosing to live in the moment instead of someday. So I have found myself here... in blogtown. Good times. I find myself wondering what to write. I mean who is going to read this? These are the rambling thoughts of a looneytoon soon to be 30 year old. God forbid someone take anything I say as advice or apply it to their own lives, maybe I should claim this as a "what not to do" blog. Yeah there you go... here is your "what not to do" guide to life. Enjoy.
Rm