kindergarten!

it's been a strange week. My baby started Kindergarten Monday, I can't believe he is that old. It's so surreal. I am not used to not knowing exactly what is going on in his world every minute, I am having a hard time adjusting to it.
I have been haunted by memories this week of my mom, my parents, events that occurred when I was younger, some great memories, some terrible. I don't know why it has come on suddenly but I feel like I am looking back on my life and seeing it as an adult instead of remembering things as a child. I don't like what I see in some cases, and in others I see my parents side of things and marvel at their ability to handle the world.
Lord, I miss my mom. I was sick this past weekend and although it has been a very very long time since I had a mom that could take care of me, I would say Jr high, I guess, I still miss someone letting me lay my head on their shoulder, or someone rubbing my back, giving me medicine, hell just checking on me to see if I was okay. I was thinking these very thoughts when sweet JoLee came into my bedroom where I was in bed, crawled up and rubbed my back and in her best mama voice said, "It's okay mom ...." God is funny that way. My JoLee has a beautiful soul.